There is something to be said about having a steaming cup of tea and staring out into the rain, being at leisure,being on your own.... It is an amazing feeling. As I listen to the rain pelting on the weird tin-tile roofing of my building, I experience a rare innate calm. It feels as if the cold air that brushes my face doesn't just do that,it freshens my mind,my spirit...the me inside me, making me take the plunge into self-reflection.

I think back to the girl I was a year ago, I feel a sense of detachment. I can remember her as if it were someone else. I remember her small joys,favourite things,places,people,her qualms,her fears,her idiocies,... I can critically analyse her way of life...It feels as if she and I are two very different people. I find her thoughts and talks silly, her fears baseless,I magnify her mistakes many fold in my mind...I'm not sure I even like her that much!!! Is this what is meant by growing up??

I have changed,a lot, I know I have. Not just my likes and dislikes, joys and fears, but my whole perspective of life, my whole way of looking at things has changed. It isn't something that happened overnight. It is something that happened over time, over a very very long year at the threshold of which time seems to have stood still...

I am surprised at what has changed in me.I think back to certain things,certain days,certain events, and it is with wonder that I realise that I lived through all that, that I have sailed through those turbulent waters slowly,but steadily and is still hopeful of finding a shore. I still cannot figure out where I found the courage to do that, but I am happy that I did. It is with wonder that I realise that I have matured, grown up and that I am capable of LIVING,for it is true, that death is easy, and living is hard, that it doesn't pain half as much to die, than it does, to live.