Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Disclaimer:-

I’m the sort of person who wishes that people (both male and female) came with self help manuals. I’m very bad at understanding and dealing with people. Basically, I’m not really fond of people as a species. I feel awkward in public (sometimes even among friends) and am not generally comfortable with any sort of social situation. I have almost nil life experience and am not at all qualified to offer advice to anyone (although it is sometimes expected of me). And what I’m going to write is not advice. These are just plain, simple facts coined entirely from my experience and observations. It is dedicated to two very special people, my best friend Cuttu (you will perhaps see her comments) and my cousin Anu (Sorry for the lack of warning guys). And it is primarily aimed at my guy friends ( yes sweetheart, you are also included).

[Good God, look at the size of the disclaimer, this is likely to be an ongoing series :O Don’t go away already guys, I’ll try my best to keep it short].

Okay, so here goes…

Girls like being complemented, whether they deserve it or not. We don’t expect you to keep saying how pretty we are or how beautiful we are all the time, but we do like to hear it now and then. We pretend that we don’t like to be called hot or sexy, but actually, we do. And when you don’t like something we wear or do, please…please tell us that, don’t make faces, or make fun of it, we feel demoralized and sad. The same  happens if you don’t notice that we have done something with our appearance FOR YOU. And “okay”  is not the same as “good” or “nice”. When a girl is looking her worst, she always knows it. So you can actually tell her that she is looking horrible.When she says that she is looking horrible, she is NOT fishing for compliments.  Even Aishwarya Rai lookalikes have their moments of doubt, so do I need to mention about lesser beings like me…

We love it when you call us or text us. We don't mind calling or texting or buzzing you first. It's just that we don't like doing that all the time. We feel unwanted. And we want you to talk to us, rather than think that we will not understand. And it is true that we don't understand things unless told. Feminine sixth sense is an urban myth. And even though we tend to talk, we don't disclose everything even to our closest friends. And that includes some facts about you, not because we are ashamed of what you are, but because we don't want even our best friends to think anything negative about you.


It is a common conception that girls are nagging and obsessive (I am consciously not using misconception, because that is a special talent of mine too). But as hard as it might be to believe, we like to avoid ugly confrontations too. Therefore we might sometimes be silent or not disagree with something you say, but that doesn’t mean that  we agree with it. (I might colour my hair blonde, but  that doesn’t make me a bimbo..savvy?) And we obsess in the first place, only  because we care, we don’t do that to every guy in the street, we irritate you because you are SPECIAL.

A girl often takes a long time to say “ I Love You”. It is not because she doesn’t want to, but because she wants to mean it when she says it.  And she is always worried that when she says that she misses you, you might laugh at her or think that she is being silly. No self-respecting girl will ever make out with or sleep with a guy she does not love. Her doing that has nothing to do with what a stud you are (Well, ofcourse you could be, only that is not her criteria), it has completely to do with how she feels about you.

We don’t tell you many things, many,many things, simply because we are worried that you might make fun of us or something which might actually be important and so beyond funny to us. While we enjoy humor, we don’t appreciate it being at the cost of a serious matter or our family members (whether it be our age old grandfather or crackpot cousin. We might let it go sometimes, but not always).

We don’t expect you to remember every month anniversaries or stupid events like first touch day etc, because we know that you don’t do things like that (In my case, because I don’t care much for them). But sometimes it is nice to be wished at odd things like this, it makes us feel cherished.( And we pretend that we don’t remember such dates, but we actually do, sometimes we feel so bad that you don’t remember these things, so we don’t remind you).  And surprises…WE LOVE SURPRISES…And I’m not talking about grand gestures, a surprise visit, a love message, a little card…that sort of thing. And please don’t ever forget our birthday,  that will break our heart.

This might come as a surprise to many, but girls think, about many things other than make up and the clothes en mode. Even the most cynical girls think  about marriage and kids and long term stuff like that (and this, just after they ’ve started going out. When in love…well…do I even need to say???) Even the coolest of girls worry about how serious her guy is about her. Yes, we are such dreamy creatures who ultimately want to settle down and raise a family, no matter how career-oriented or ambitious we are.  And no, we do not appreciate you flirting with other girls. Drooling, we might tolerate, but in- our- face flirting...no, no and NO. You might say, "so what, you go flirt with other guys, we don’t care”. But the fact is, we don’t want to. And we want you to care. And please don’t insult our intelligence by lying to us. We almost always know when you lie. But we let it go, because we feel sad that you don’t trust us enough to tell us the truth.

Okay, I guess this much gyaan is enough for the moment. I’m definitely getting tired writing, so I can imagine your condition reading. I’ll sign off saying that, I’m not justifying things that girls do through this post. We are far from being perfect. I for one, give my wonderful boyfriend pretty tough times through my very many faults. These are just some common facts which is true about almost every girl. If it facilitates anyone’s understanding their girlfriend better, I’ll be very glad.



8 comments:

Cuttu said...

Thanks for the dedication......

With my relationship hanging by the thread, I look at this write up with a biased view and LOVE IT!!!!

Couldnt have put it better even in my own words.

I hope its a series and not just one write up......

buttercup said...

lol....i ges der s a lot mre clearing up 2 do ;) i hope it s a series too ;) lol i cn see ppl yawning alrdy... ;)

Sammy! said...

I yawned.. X-(

buttercup said...

ya...i knew u will :P

Dj said...

i didn't yawn..u know y?..u mentioned that u said that u r uncomfortavle with social situ..I don't think so.

The lecture was really informative, but only very few portions can be applied here. Stillgood...:)
And why don't u girls aloow us 2 flirt?...Afterall, we are human beings yaar...We try to share the spirit of joy, freedom, and what not...So let us share the spirit of flirting too...HI..hi....

buttercup said...

lol...coz dat is wat I've always thot...but u cud b ryt...u've knwn me lng enuf n wel enuf i ges...

lol lol ...not all guys sweety, just our respective boyfriends ;)

Me said...

Owning up to who you are, what you like, what you don't, and your faults is AWESOME. For lack of a better word. It's a purrrfect post.

buttercup said...

lol...thnx ;)