I was soooooo excited to go home after a long year. Now I am as strongly repelled at the thought of it. No, I'm scared to go home now...I am 21, I've just completed Masters and suddenly, I'm marriage material...WTF????

Well it is not so sudden, if I'm fair to myself...This kind of thinking has been doing rounds in my family (not my Dad, Mom or Grandfather, the only people I are about,thankfully), to be exact, right after I turned 20 x-( My dad has been holding fortress for long...I guess he doesn't know about the most recent development...That is ok really, am gonna phone him rightaway and inform x-(

The matter is, my aunt just mailed me a guy's picture, his details etc etc...telling me that he'll call, go meet him blah blah blah...and ofcourse, how nice a guy he is, how much he earns, oh ya, and he works here in London.....Bloody what the hell is your problem, when I want to get married I'll tell you, then you do this sort of stuff, that is, if I ask you TO x-( That's what I've told at home, I'll do my PhD aaram se, work for a couple of years, if I haven't found a guy still,  THEN you look for one x-( and they are fine with it...what the hell is everybody else's problem???

I mean my Mom does tell me, you know, that someone asked at a marriage if they should come to our place next, or that someone random asked my Grandfather whether they should start looking for a guy for me and all that... what I don't understand is that, MY folks don't have this obsession of getting me married, why are you so obsessed ??? My 74 year old grandfather ( and I hope he lives a lot more years) says that they shouldn't  even start  looking until am like 25 or so and these people with narrow thinking are not even as old x-(

Before I was only contemplating coming back here after maybe 2-3 weeks at home...Now, I'm definitely coming back. I so don't want to stay among these weird,stuffy,narrow minded people one day more than I need to... I guess that's what my Mom keeps telling me indirectly...don't stay here more than a certain time...this is what happens...gggrrrrr....Oh...to be 10 again and worry only about the next day's homework... :'(

I miss Mummy (my Mom's Mom) every single day. But in these instances I miss her even more. She is the only person who could put such people straight. She'll tell people outright to mind their own businesses..and the funny thing is, nobody ever minded her slighting them...or found the courage to stand up to her...(Something about people with small stature being more aggressive, doesn't hold for my Mom...maybe for me, but then I'm not that small, well, I dunno,depends on people's perception I guess...lol...anyways...)...The thing is, her small size not withstanding, I always felt protected when she was around..I was her first grandchild and her favourite...She practically raised me, when my parents were away Globetrotting...and I was more attached to her than I was to anyone ever...It was her 6th Death anniversary some days back...It has been 6 years...and I still miss her so much...:( And I know she is watching over me, wherever she is...