It is 6 months today to the day you have been buried. 6 months!!!!! They have passed in the blink of an eye!! Suddenly it struck me today, that it has been 6 months... 6 months!!!!

Not a very easy half year, but I have survived. I know you'll be proud of me. Of course there have been some whining-crying times...but...utna to banta hai right???

I guess anybody who reads this blog must have gotten bored with me writing about you all the time. I don't know, I think of a new topic to write, and that is you, I think again and there you are again!! All of a sudden, my life is all about you (Well, I guess it always was, I just didn't realise it then).

People keep telling me, that I have to move on. I have to start thinking about new things,new people and stop thinking about you so much. But... how is that possible??? You have been the main presence in my life for atleast 6 years... and am just 21, so they have been my formative years right..How can I stop thinking about someone who was vital in my life in the most important years of my life??

But now it is not so bad,you know. I don't always get that feeling of absolute loss when I see your picture or think about you. I even talk to you sometimes, very normally. And I don't cry very easily when some random thought of yours comes to mind. I'm coping, aren't I?

But then all of a sudden, it strikes me that it has been only 6 months, a very difficult 6 months, in fact the horriblest 6 months I have known in my short life... and I have an eternity in front of me without you; a whole life,years and years..... I dunno, nothing was written in stone,but I sort of had this feeling that you will always be there,you know, just being there for me, as you have always been. Or rather this possibility had never occurred to me that one day, I might have to face life, face the world without you at my side...

My grief knows no limits,

My tears flow unhindered,

For it is about you,

It has always been about you.

A hollowed feeling gnaws my heart

A feeling that I'm alone in this world...

It might be my mistake,

It might be just a feeling;

For it is my sun who has set...

For it is my life which has lost horizons...