I don't believe in jinxes and that sort of stuff, never have, don't think ever will. I have always thought that stuff like talking too much and too early about things, being too happy about things actually rob you off them...etc too old house-wifey talk, just coined up by people who have nothing better to do with their lives.

This is not the first time it has happened to me. In fact,this has always happened to me, as long as I can remember. Whenever I am happy, as in really really happy (whether or not without for a reason), something or the other always happens to put me off. Well, part of it must be my own fault, since I do take offense at small things (if it is by special people only... anyway). What hurts the most is when you realise that the other person doesn't even care about the fact that you are feeling so miserable. So, the bottomline is, I end up feeling sad and mad and stupid and silly, which I very well might be...still.

I am a fool in love. When I'm in a relationship, I want the full attention of that person. I CANNOT and WILLNOT settle for cursory glances and doing something else while talking to me etc.I am the first one to advocate that being with someone doesn't mean you don't have time for your friends. But hey, it doesnot mean that you have time ONLY for your friends.I mean, I'm a part of your life too, treat me as such...not like some place you go to when you have nothing better to do... I'm not big on endearments either, I'd rather that person didn't call me "darling" or "sweetheart" twenty times in an hour. But I DEMAND full attention. If you'd rather be some place else than be with me or talking to me, then be there, just don't keep me hanging. I've never done that. When I don't like someone who's been hitting on me, I always say "sorry" and look the other way. Then why the hell is this happening to me?

I've never been ignored EVER by anyone I specially care about (others can go to hell ). Attention has never been something I've ever asked for...but I've never lacked it either...Sometimes it has been unwanted,but I've always had it...from my friends,family,old boyfriends...everyone I've come into contact with basically...So this want for it is something new...and I'm hating it.

I've always been told, and I know this myself...You can't have everything...no one can... still I want everything...That is EXACTLY why I call myself stupid...